


:)))

by Sineluce_Velius_Tristitia



Category: Joker (2019)
Genre: 5+1, Character Study, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-12-13 18:03:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21001877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sineluce_Velius_Tristitia/pseuds/Sineluce_Velius_Tristitia
Summary: Five times Arthur Fleck was forced to smile and laugh, and the one time it never left his lips.





	:)))

**Author's Note:**

> y'all I just watched The Joker and really loved it. Heath Ledger is unparalleled, but Joaquin Phoenix put a different kind of show that hit the right buttons.
> 
> this is just a lil somethin' coz I really felt a connection with the movie.

His mom had always called him _ Happy _.

She said it was because he had a beautiful laugh, that he always had a smile on his face ever since he was little. 

Arthur didn’t remember much of his childhood, but he believed her. After all, his mom had such a hopeful, radiant smile. He had always admired how her eyes became bright, how the lines on her face curved into something softer. And Arthur knew how _ strong _ she is to be able to survive this _ shitty _ place with such a positive outlook in life.

So, Arthur is _ Happy _.

Arthur is always _ Happy _ even if he practiced smiling until his muscles ached.

Arthur is always _ Happy _ even when people ridiculed him for his dream to become a stand-up comedian so that he could spread joy and laughter and _ hope _.

Arthur is so _ Happy _ that the uncontrollable fits of laughter has become just another part of his pitiful life.

Arthur. Will. _ Always. Be. Happy. _

Maybe if he repeats it enough times, it will become true.

**I.**

Arthur liked children.

Besides having to interact with them because of his job, Arthur genuinely _ liked _ them. They had this innocent look in life that reminded him of his mom. And he likes thinking that maybe he was like this once even if he can’t remember it; naive and happy and taken care of instead of having to take care of someone.

They also tended to laugh with him rather than look at him with judgment.

But society at large?

Oh, _ no _.

Not even social service looked at him kindly.

And when he hands them that _ accursed _but helpful card, they tend to look at him even more disgustedly, like he was some bad joke someone uttered inappropriately.

Arthur absolutely. _ Hated. It. _

And still he laughs in the face of it.

Because it was _ funny _ . _ Everything _ is funny. He was supposed to be _ Happy. _

“What’s so funny?” was what they always asked, as if they don’t know.

_ Arthur couldn’t actually control when he laughed _.

But no one cared, no one believed him, so maybe it actually was just him being crazy.

**II.**

Arthur stares at the words he had written, still reeling from a fit of laughter that had stolen his breath, his _ control _ and the tiny bit of positivity he had left. He bit his tongue until it bled, gripped the pen hard enough that his trembling hand shook harder.

_ I hope my death is worth more cents than my life. _

Realization of something he already knew shouldn’t hit this hard, but still, he can’t help it.

He laughed and he laughed and he _ laughed _ . This one felt more authentic, more _ him _ than the unnatural _ thing _ he had done mere minutes ago.

It was funny, isn’t it? It was _ absolutely hilarious _.

Arthur Fleck had dedicated his _ whole life _ in spreading laughter. What more his death?

**III.**

Arthur cries. 

Every once in a while, life becomes _ not funny. _ Every once in a while, his mom calls him _ Arthur _ instead of _ Happy _. 

He always lets the tears run down his face, lets it ruin the paint on his face.

_ “All I have are negative thoughts.” _

He uses his fingers to pull his lips into a smile.

**IV.**

He discovered a new joke. Something exciting and something he himself did. Not one of those things he took note of whenever he went to the club.

He didn’t write it down on his journal.

He didn’t need to.

It was printed in all of the papers, talked about in radio stations and televisions. 

**V.**

Penny Fleck made _ Bad Jokes _.

**nulla.**

Arthur laughed, long and hard and _ free _.

“What’s so funny?” The phony female doctor asked.

Arthur grinned, all teeth and disappointment. “You wouldn’t get it.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm of the opinion that "you wouldn't get it" is such a wonderful display of character development. if everything wasn't delusioned up by the Joker.
> 
> add info if u werent aware of it: the laughing thing he does? it's a kind of seizure that could. not. be. controlled. or. stopped. voluntarily. it leaves a sufferer of that condition scared and confused. imagine going through that all your life.


End file.
